Now He Knows

I thought about Trent learning that he had brain damage. I wondered about his deep concerns. Did he have deep concerns, or was he just limited in is ability to tell me about them. I remember when he was two, three, four, years old. Slowly, the realization that something was not right with this child began to sink in.

There were moments, fleeting moments, quickly dismissed thoughts about the idea that something was not quite normal about him as I watched him play. Sometimes, the thoughts would linger a little longer. They would linger long enough that the depths of my soul would begin to ache, and my heart would sink to my stomach. Over time, the moments of concern and doubts would turn into a reality. My son has something wrong.

I wonder if Trent was wondering the same about himself. Did he know that something was wrong all along, but he just needed to be told in order for reality to sink in. Just like us parents with a child with autism we need to hear the real words from the doctor.

There is nothing that they can do to reverse the problem. Only therapy to help them learn how to function and have as normal of a life as possible; but, somehow, there is closure to the doubts and questions when we hear the truth about a bad situation. Okay, so now I know what's going on. I could see that thought all over his little face, even if he didn't say the words.